The Problem with Memorized Prayer

Often, I have heard people complain about memorized prayer as if the prayer is not a "real" prayer because the speaker did not make it up out of the overflow of their heart at that very moment. I say, the problem with memorized prayer is not the prayer itself, but he who prays. It is a challenge to make each prayer our own; to allow Christ to speak through both ancient words and new ones.
Jesus himself gave us the Our Father prayer. He tells us to say those words, to pray those words, when we go to the Father. How bad, then, can memorized prayer be? Again, I say, it is not the prayers itself, but our flawed nature that is so distracted by this world and all that passes by, that we do not choose to concentrate on the words given to us by the holy brethren of the past. If we let the Holy Spirit move us, we can be as moved by written prayers as we are prayers of our heart.
In times of distress, when we can not think, it is the memorized prayers that assist us most. How beautiful it is to have prayers given to us for such moments when we can not concentrate. How easy it is to say: Hail Mary full of Grace...when we are so distracted by the situation in front of us. Even: "Jesus, savior of the world, have mercy on us"...how can these words not have a good influence on us, even if we aren't fully concentrating on them?
Negative words create negative thought, positive words create positive thoughts. In this way, so to do our holy words, muttered in a time of distress or just plain distraction, create holy thoughts. God can work through our failed humanity to bring us closer to His perfection. If we offer up our situation, our prayers, to Him, he will take them and make them far more than we ever could. What love is that? We can never be good enough, or holy enough to save anyone, yet He offers us a way to help our brethren and takes these offerings, adds to them His perfection and, in this way, allows us to be part in helping those we pray for.
St. Paul says: "I am glad when I suffer for you in my body, for I am completing what remains of Christ's sufferings for his body, the church." Col. 1:24 NLT
In conclusion, I suggest that, when we can't concentrate,we offer up our thoughts and prayers using the memorized prayers that our Church has given us. When we can concentrate, we can ask the Holy Spirit to guide us in new prayers from our heart or to help us make the memorized prayers come from our heart too.

The Beauty of being able to say: "I spoke in haste".

Recently, I was watching a favorite show of mine (Lark Rise to Candleford) in which one character spoke rashly out of emotion, closing a door in her life. I, as the viewer, was frustrated because it seemed there was never to be a happy ending to the post mistress's story. By the end of the episode, however, she approached the gentleman (who is her love interest) and said six little words: "I believe I spoke in haste". I was struck by the power of that phrase. She didn't try to take back that she had spoken or what she had said. She, Dorcas, humbly admitted that she had spoken "in haste" which re-opened the door that was closed by her own words.
In life, it is easy to speak first, think later. Our words go far beyond our own lives to the lives of those we speak to and to those that hear. Once said, they can not be un-said. Repeatedly, I have felt regret in my soul for words that slipped so easily off my tongue, realizing, upon hearing them, that speaking the words gave life to them. Sometimes, at the moment, I have thought that I believed what I said; other times, I have lashed out in anger, intending harm by words I did not mean even as I said them.
Words can wound and words can bind. Though I can not recall it for sure, I believe there is an old adage with words very similar to my previous sentence. It is easy to speak the harsh words, but hard to eat humble pie as we approach him whom we have hurt or insulted. I suggest that Dorcas be an example to us in situations where we have done the wrong and where we need to be the one apologizing. Eat the humble pie, bow our heads in contrition, look the wounded (or offended) in the eyes, and honestly admit the wrong doing.
Our words can wound relationships with our fellow man and with our Lord. Whether you say to your sibling: "I spoke in haste" or to your Lord: "Oh, My LORD, I spoke in haste", forgiveness is there. Pray daily for the humility to know when to apologize and how to do it humbly.

Growth through Reading for Lent

"Gradually my perspective on time had changed. In our culture, time can seem like an enemy: it chews us up and spits us out with appalling ease. But the monastic perspective welcomes time as a gift from God, and seeks to put it to good use rather than allowing us to be used up by it."

Norris, Kathleen 1997 "The Cloister Walk" (1st ed. paperback). New York, New York: Riverhead Books (Preface xix)

For Lent, I have decided that my offering (or fast) will be more of my time than of a physical object or food of desire. For other reasons, coffee is left out of my diet two days a week. One day a week, television is removed and replaced with some sort of spiritual study. What remains are: 5 days where my coffee habit can be fed, 6 days that do not require God to be learned about, and 7 days where I use my time to please myself or am too lazy to use it wisely.

As a young girl, growing up out in the country under the guidance of parents who cared too much for my character to let me fritter away my days watching television or gossiping on the phone, I read the Bible daily, prayed daily (especially over my food), and went to Mass weekly. My spirituality was spoon fed to me. Not to say that my belief and prayer was not my own, it was, but that being spiritual was incredibly easy because of the atmosphere that my family created.

When I grew up (or at least I thought I was growing up) and moved away, I still attended Mass weekly, prayed often, and always over my food. My Bible reading and study occurred at random. Recently, I have noticed that even though I attend Mass (mostly) weekly, my prayer doesn't really have a life of it's own, I have caught myself forgetting to pray over my food, and my Bible reading is pathetically rare.

What occurred? I would like to blame it on life, on work, or on anything and anyone else, but I can not. Priorities set for me as a child have become forgotten like a dusty set of skates in the corner or doll stuffed away in a box labeled: For when I have girls. I don't want my spiritual life to be only for my children or only when the neighbors can see. I long for the spiritual life of my childhood with the maturity of my adulthood. I long for the passion I once had, when I had little else.

What can I do? Sacrifice my time. Sacrifice is meant to hurt, and I believe it will. If I wish to survive and see Heaven without first passing through Purgatory, I know that I must now tear myself away from those things which have surpassed in importance my relationship with Jesus. I must strip away all of the distractions, the DVR, Facebook, and any object that comes before Christ in importance. Before all, Jesus must come first. Even before I stand in the presence of Christ, I want to know that my life is not a list of one night conversions followed by years of regress.

One day at a time, I intend to approach His throne, asking for His aid, asking for his healing, asking to be converted a little more each day. May God have mercy on my soul and raise me on the last day.

Learning

It's hard to learn how to crochet in today's "modern" world with all its distractions. With the modern conveniences that distract, also come modern conveniences which help with learning and creativity. It's easy to stay away from house work with a computer and satellite TV always on hand. There is a constant struggle to find balance between the "use" of modern conveniences and the necessity of simply getting things done.