From Where I am Coming From

For most of my life I did not understand why people reacted to my helpfulness they way they did. In my mind, I felt that I was only trying to help and that I had an outsider's prospective that could be insightful. The receivers of my helpfulness didn't always feel that way.
Marriage is an amazing institution. In God's infinite wisdom he saw fit to put two different people together and have them stick it out through good and bad. For some it can be a struggle that doesn't lead to happiness, but for me, God has given me insight into my own faults from the loving prospective of a spouse. How amazing God is. I am getting off track. The point I am trying to get to is this: if I approach my spouse (or my friend or my mom) to talk about a "subject" with an agenda, it shows and what I have to share is not well received. Why? This is where marriage comes into my learning process.
I couldn't understand why my loving honey, whom I love, didn't receive my helpful instructions and suggestions. After all, I just wanted what was best for him. Really? Is that what I really wanted? He said to me one day: "When you come at me with an agenda, I shut down." And, of course, I was flabbergasted. Why?
The answer to the "Why" lies in the real reason I wanted to share with him. Was I really just sharing or was I trying to show him how right I was, and therefore, how wrong he was. I had to admit that many conversations in my past have gone a strew, not because I was wrong in my information, but because I was wrong in my intent. Pureness of heart can greatly affect the ears of the listener. It can also greatly affect the heart of the speaker. My goal, with God's help, is to moderate my wisdom (what little there is) with humility. To curb my tongue within the bounds of love for neighbor, not love of my pride.
Looking back, I see the folly of my ways. I am determined to change. Sometimes, we don't see our own reasons clearly until someone else has the decency to point them out to us. God used my husband to help me see a great error in my communication pattern. I am thankful for the Good and the Bad, the Sickness and the Health, Til Death do us Part, because I am not sure my pride would have been small enough to get into Heaven with if it hadn't been for his frankness. There are still so many faults that I have to learn about in my life; I am hoping for 60 or 70 more years of humbling and learning with my Love.